The Birth – Luis Fernando Verissimo

The Birth
Luis Fernando Veríssimo
Translation: Adam Charles 

We got married young. Her at 19 years old and I at 20. 

Honeymoon, trips, furnishings for the rented house, installments on our own house and the first child. 

In the 1980’s the style was to have a video camera from Paraguai. I always had a neighbor or a shady friend willing to bring me the odd black market item for a modified price. 

She was ashamed, but I wanted to eternalize that moment. 

I invaded the delivery room with the camera on my shoulder and I cried while I filmed the birth of my first son. Everyone that came over to our house was oblidged to watch it. 

I lost count of how many copies of the birth I made and distributed among friends, relatives and their friends. My son and my wife were what I was most proud of. 

Three years after, another birth, another film and a new bout of crying. 

As she categorically said she didn’t want me to film it, I of course invaded the delivery room one more time with my camera on my shoulder. 

Those that know me also know that it was just the love of a father and a husband in that moment. 

The fact that I made many copies of that tape was merely a demonstration of my pride. 

But nothing compares itself to the fact that she, this week, invaded the exam room of my urologist, camera on her shoulder, filming my prostate exam.

There I was, with my legs in that damn contraption, the guy with his finger (and he swore it was just one!) almost in my throat and my wife screaming: 

– Ah! Doctor! How marvelous! I’m going to make two thousand copies of this tape! Next week I’ll send you a copy! 

My eyes came out of orbit to stare her down, but the pain was so strong that I couldn’t manage to speak. The miserable doctor turned his finger and I almost hit the roof. My wife continued to scream, like a movie director: 

– That’s it, doctor! Now turn your finger again, but slower. I’m going in for a close up now…

I reached for a shoe on the ground and threw it at the hellish woman! 

Now, I’m writing this email, begging my friends that have received a copy of the film, that they send it back without watching it. I’ll pay the reimbursement. And later, the beer. 

 

Original found on Brunicha’s Blog (in Portuguese)